Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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