My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
