i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dicks are not precious.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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