he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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