Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
