i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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