I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
