I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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