I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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