I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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