WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
