if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
