We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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