Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
