i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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