The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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