I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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