good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
