I just saw a hot homeless man
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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