peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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