its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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