they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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