so let's talk penis.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Ladies don't puke and tell
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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