I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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