found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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