two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sext me about skeletons
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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