dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
even my farts smell like vagina
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Text me some of your sweat
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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