quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
