First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
