on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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