I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
