please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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