worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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