He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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