I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
