He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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