Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she peed on how many people?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
