well you can't waste a boner
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
