my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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