we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
