You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
