I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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