WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
