some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
