Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
