i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How does one acquire holy water?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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