I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize