But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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