I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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