i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
