I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
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You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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