We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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