Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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