Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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