he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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