Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
