Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I think i got beer on your cat.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
