Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
