Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
