i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize