How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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