none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
