Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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